"Baby, Baby"

Another secret from PostSecret today.

I have a couple problems with this postcard.  First off, I've never been a fan of fake pregnancies or tricking a man into being with you because you got pregnant.

And secondly, this fake pregnancy/fake abortion is a slap in the face to women everywhere who found themsleves holding a positive test in their hands after squatting over the toilet to pee on a stick.  Forget that you tricked this man into thinking you were facing this life altering decision - you faked what real women everywhere have gone through time after time.  Some women read their postive test and shed tears of joy. While other women held their tests and cried for the decisions they would now have to face.

Abortion. Adoption. Keeping a baby.

You faked it. You pretended that you agonized over this decision and spent sleepless nights, trying to do the "right" thing for yourself and the child you were carrying. Perhaps you are still pretending - maybe you and the man 800 miles away talk about how difficult it was for you to make this decision; how you hated yourself for the decision you made even though you thought it was the "right" one.  Your family went to the fake clinic with you to surround you with love in your time of need.  You cried so hard from the fake pain that the nurse held your hand and tried to distract you by telling you how pretty your eyes were and you told her they were colored contacts. You had fake cramps that were a hundred times worse than any cramps you ever had from your period.  And you faked it when you told him you ate Hershey Kisses, BBQ chips and Root Beer for almost a week as you lay on the couch, recovering.  Perhaps you fake it sometimes and wonder aloud to him if it were a boy or a girl.  Maybe you pretend to wonder what your life - and your baby's - would be like had you made a different decision.  And maybe you are still pretending and keeping this "secret" from everyone else because you are ashamed what they will think of you; what they will say about you; how they will condemn you for it. When a new doctors asks you how many times you've been pregnant and how many children you've given birth to, do you tell him your "secret" too? Of course not.

You faked it. In the end, you get off easy because you never actually went through any of this.  And in all the time since, have you ever had this secret burning a hole in your heart but you were afraid to tell anyone else because you feared they would shun you? Did this secret make you wonder if you would get into Heaven because of it?

No, because you faked it.  Some of us actually were pregnant and forced to make a decision between abortion, adoption, and keeping an actual baby. And some of us worry we will go to Hell for our decisions.

But you? You faked it.